T’is the season of yuletide cheer, Christmas trees and eggnog lattes, which will be quickly followed by resolutions and hardcore goals setting; but the understood order of things is completely flawed. Resolving to change your life while still recovering from a Christmas hangover is a tall order; this is why most resolutions fail. Most years I resolve to lose five pounds or run five miles a day; and I can tell you that they usually last until February 1st, by which time I’ve long since moved on. This year I have resolved to finally get over “the guy”- because, well, it’s time.

After being in a complicated situation for over a year, I have resolved to move on; but instead of waiting until January first, where I will likely be hung over, I have started my resolution early. It is fact that people who start their resolutions the moment they set their intention are far more successful than those who wait; because waiting until New Year’s Day, tends to lead to failure by the beginning of March; when gyms that were once bustling, go dead.

So how can we keep our resolutions longer than 30 days?

  • Train Ourselves To Act In Reinforcement Of Our Goals

For me this means that I will delete “the guy’s” number from my phone; and then I’ll sign myself up for an online dating service- look at me being progressive! For those who are endeavoring to lose weight or eat healthier, start with small changes like eating breakfast every day, then start packing a lunch, then go start exercising; and so forth. Acting in reinforcement of our goals is essential to any type of long term success.

For a full year, I saw this fella as the one who I was going to marry, letting go of that thought, although incredibly difficult, is a huge part of getting over him; it may seems like a small change but small changes make all the difference. Starting with baby steps and rewarding ourselves for meeting tiny milestones is essential to success. Setting huge goals like “I will lose 60 lbs” or “I’m going to find another man to love” are daunting goals to set; because the end seems so out of sight. By setting small goals like “I will burn 500 calories every day” or “Iwill go on three dates a month” a far more attainable goals; and are stepping stones to our end result.

  • Be Accountable To Ourselves

Making promises to ourselves is big one; I don’t know about you, but I hate letting myself down, so making a promise to do one thing daily that brings me closer my goals keeps me accountable. Accountability for some means screaming their goal from the rooftops, so that they don’t let others down; for others, like me, it’s about making the promise to myself; because what other people think means nothing to me, but I have a hard time living with a failed promise to myself.

Being rigid is detrimental to resolutions because people change and so do our goals. I will surely see “the guy” out and about, and because I am an adult, I’ll say hello- we did, after all, have good times; and for others it might mean that a cookie or a chicken wing passes their lips- shit happens, we’re human. But resolutions are about resolve, resolving to make a change- resolving to rise above any challenge that is presented and succeeding because and despite of it.

The main point when it comes to resolutions is START NOW- why wait? Waiting only makes the goals seem even bigger, but if we start making small changes right now, by January 1st we’ll all be well on our way to the end result; because if change is what we’re after, now is as good a time as any!

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